Birthday Gift

It is never enough to enjoy what I've experienced so far and be thankful for it, as a gift. It is the familiarness that makes birthday presents from your parents less exciting than a gift given at random. In childhood, one hardly understands how to appreciate birthday gifts because they are so routine. That's what always happens on my birthday. How could it not?

And one could even think they deserve whatever gifts they put on their wish list - they are rightfully theirs to take and enjoy until they have used up all of the pleasure they can possibly give them. No one ever realizes this attitude, just as children do not realize their own selfishness. Nonetheless, they move on to the next flashy toy that catches their eye and think, "Christmas is soon..."

I do this with life. I expect another day to come. I expect the sun to rise. I expect my car to work. I expect my interns to be in the office, to make lots of calls. I expect people to be nice to me, always. I experience something intensely pleasurable, like a beautiful song, and all I can think about is buying the CD and I forget to finish enjoying the song. I'm not grateful to God that I even got the chance to hear the song once. I don't consider any of the moments of my life to be what they really are - gifts I do not deserve.

Realizing such would do drastic damage.