I am undone

The human mind can process so many things yet comprehends so little. Our scope of life and reality is so, so indescribably small.
My little life is not the main thing…it is almost nothing.
Don't say, "Life is short, so focus on eternity." Instead realize, "My life is a drop in the ocean of ultimate reality. Focus on that - on HIM." Eternity is just another form of consciousness and it's not a product of what I do. What I do is a product of who I am, which is a product of the current state of consciousness I live in under the curse. This is the process of sanctification, of redemption. This is what Christ purchased with His blood - eyes to see!
How come I can remember stupid little random facts about fourth grade but can't remember what I did yesterday? There is something in the way my brain retrieves information. Somehow it can't or won't when it is asked to. When we are checking on it, we don't see anything. When we close our eyes, all possibilities exist.
Holy, holy, holy…I am undone!