The blame game

I am really not interested in writing anything right now. I'm doing so in order to honor my personal commitments and decide who I am going to be. This is going to be a menagerie of thoughts.

My internet is going ridiculously slow. What is up?

Life is so different from what we think. "Thank God we're wrong."

I know what I need / want / ought to write about. Restoring my faith in humankind! How is it that I can enjoy people so greatly and see the best in them and not want to change them in any way...and then the next moment be embittered towards all mankind for being such selfish jerks with bad customer service?

Just what is it exactly that I expect in my participation and interaction with humankind?

There is this phenomenon that I've been pondering since last night. I call it the Blame game. Actually, my manager called it that. He was referring to the way the bureaucracy works here in the ministry. Whenever something goes wrong, we look for someone to blame. He was telling me that he suspects that there really is no person, team, department or other entity that can be blamed. It's the call center's fault. It's marketing's fault. It's the mail team's fault. It's operations' fault. It's Jim's fault, Carrie's fault, so-and-so's fault. Though no one ever gets fired for just being the one at fault for a significant failure.

It seems like I could take this concept of blame game and go even further with it. It's someone's fault that I am unhappy. It's someone's fault that I'm unsatisfied. It's someone's fault that I walk around with guilt and shame on my shoulder. Someone is to blame. Someone's at fault for my incapabilities and personal injuries, for the fact that I can never seem to win. It's someone's fault that no one recognizes how glorious and wonderful I really am.

"Come on, Amanda. Take responsibility. If you're the one failing, then it's your fault. If you're unhappy, that's your own fault. Take responsibility. Don't blame someone else. It's your fault."

People are always looking for someone to blame. Who did Pharaoh blame for his hard heart? Who could be throwing the monkey wrench into all my wonderful plans?